Sahityika AdminMy Gregarious Confidante, 1993 – FOREVER
@ Dibyojyoti Dutta Roy 1990 Architecture & Planning
In memory of my Father-in-Law, (late) Ashok Dasgupta, of 1963 Civil Engineering batch. (known widely as Khushu)
সম্পাদক বলেছিলেন আমাদের দুজনের একই ফ্রেমে ফটো চাই। আমার কাছে ছিল না, ঝুমকির কাছ থেকে নিয়ে সেটাই দিলাম।
আমি আর শশুরমশাই used to be so engrossed in verbal joust যে একসাথে ছবি তোলাই হয়নি কোনদিন, শুধু আমার বিয়ের দিন ছাড়া
*******
“So, you want to marry my daughter, eh?” Asked the nattily dressed man I was meeting formally for the first time. He was shaving and didn’t think I merited a direct dekko.
I, the cowered wannabe culprit looked up at his reflection in the mirror and obediently murmured “Yes’
“Do you plan to ask for dowry from us?” The reflection retorted
“No” I said with a very mild indignation.
“Well, you may not want one, but we sure would want a hefty dowry from you” The reflection mouthed this time with a slight twinkle in the eyes.
“A golden goose of a boy you’ll have as a son-in-law, and you still want a dowry?” The words came out of me almost as unwanted rash as I drew intricate patterns on the floor below.
Penny dropped and the reflection turned. My would-be father-in-law looked at me directly with a hint of a smile.
I had bagged a semblance of approval.
It was a hot sultry June day of 1993 when I met my father-in-law, Mr. Ashok Dasgupta (universally known as Khusu/ Khusuda) in a guest house room in CR Park, Delhi. We had a polite conversation for about a minute at the start, and then the above mentioned appraisal started. Einstein, Picasso, Tagore, Gavaskar & PG Wodehouse rolled into one would have fallen woefully short of his expectation for a bridegroom for his beloved daughter. I, a mere architect had only two things going for me……. being an alumnus from his alma mater, BE College, Sibpur, and a small character fault……… being a tad irreverent with a penchant for wisecracks. Later, much later I came to know that it gave him the jeepers thinking he won’t be able to converse with his future son-in-law if the poor guy was as staid & simple as a Bertie Wooster. So, my slip of the tongue “Golden Goose” comment eventually proved to be the clincher.
Our second meeting was equally eventful. He had invited me for lunch at his favourite Chinese restaurant, Hong Kong, at Greater Kailash M Block market, a sort of introduction to the extended Dasgupta family, a definite chance of ragging the maybe new addition to the family. I reached quite late as is my wont and realized that everybody had rightly finished their lunch and a few leftovers were there for my taking. It’s a different matter that the leftovers were enough to feed a salvation army and being an underfed bachelor, I polished off everything that was on offer. Almost towards the end of my meal I looked up to see F-i-L sitting at the head of the table with his head in his hand. You see, I had told his daughter once that I would like to stay in their house as a pet man-servant doing petty household chores and in return would expect them to cover my daily meal plan. She in her infinite wisdom had informed her father of my meager demand which prompted that head-in-the-hand syndrome. While coming out of the restaurant the big man let me know in no uncertain terms that my CV didn’t have anything to qualify as a “Ghar-Damad”. In fact, he advised me to go get a surgery done first to reduce my stomach to 25% of its size and then reapply for the post. “At this age I can’t work overtime to feed your ravenous mouth” said he. Of course I didn’t heed the advice as his demeanor and tone belied the fact that he enjoyed a gourmet spread as much as did I.
We can go on like this for the next innumerable meetings over the last 27 years but one must have got the drift, I presume.
• Else how would you explain his constant fight with my son and me as to who among the 3 of us was most eligible to marry Priyanka Chopra.
• Or why would he wink at me and tell my nonplussed 11 year old son that stealing a furtive glance at a friend’s answer sheet during exams was indeed a godly habit and should be inculcated thoroughly…… “A little bit of cheating in exams imbibes the habit of sharing” was his exact words, if I recall correctly. Needless to say I too held similar views but my son, an already established prankster summarily rejected our goading with disdain. “I would rather look up the whole answer sheet than steal a glance only” was his reply, to which his grandpa beamed with the satisfaction of successfully transferring the baton to the next generations.
• Or once, when my wife was on an official tour and my M-i-L was in Chandigarh, 3 generations of the male variety of the family were ensconced in my house. F-i-L had become a recluse by that time due to an unimaginable, irreparable loss in the family. One night after returning from office I found my son fuming and walking up and down the entire length of our Living Room. “The old man doesn’t go out anywhere nowadays, but he still took time out to go & buy a register for me” he said. I looked at F-i-L inquiringly. “Your son is visiting the potty too much for the last 2 days, so I thought to note down the timings of his visits and have asked him to sign on the register next to the entry time” was his dispassionate yet cherubic answer. The agitated grandson naturally refused to sign, since “Firstly I’m using my own toilet, secondly who cares to sign first when the disaster is at the doorstep”. There was an impasse and studied animosity between both the parties. I fished out 10 rupees in 1 rupee coins and gave that to my son, saying ”Pay Grandpa Re1 per visit and think you are using a Sulabh Souchalaya”. Most family feuds will rest at that, usually. But then, most families wouldn’t have a Khusu Dasgupta as Grandpa and a Rik Dutta Roy as a Pota. “If the kid pays only Re1 then he is entitled to a smaller discharge” was KD’s repartee. “What about a student’s discount, oldie?” was my son’s. It took me 15 minutes to mediate and glean the discount, albeit with a rider……”The treaty will be null and void during summer holidays when the kid isn’t going to school”.
That kid has gone on to become a strapping young man with a healthy sense of humour only because of the utmost care, love and blessings of his Grandma and the constant verbal duel & unending love of his Grandpa.
Over the years F-i-L & I have covered every and any topic under the sun with utmost seriousness and equal flippancy, faced difficult situations with equanimity, argued on various ones without any rancour, but one abiding thing was there, his zest for life and his uncanny habit of finding the silver lining in everything. We have always heard about larger than life persona and I haven’t yet seen a larger one. He has just gone to party with the Gods and I’m sure Lord Indra will have a trying time reining in the Rambhas and the Urvashis. As Oscar Wilde would have said….. to lose one parent may be regarded as misfortune, to lose both looks like carelessness.
And I have just lost my second dad and an extremely close friend.
And at last, he’ll have his cherished infinite time to spend with his most beloved Ghuntu-putu-ghu.
And we’ll breathe easy knowing that Granddad and Granddaughter can remain together, childlike forever.
They say all outlaws are wanted. This sure was one Inlaw I will want, yesterday, today, tomorrow, always.
অশোক দাশগুপ্ত অনেকেই চিনবে না, খুশু বললে একনামে সবাই চিনবে। বি ই কলেজের ইতিহাসে অন্যতম বর্ণময় চরিত্র। এবং জনপ্রিয়। এই অজাতশত্রু ব্যক্তিকে লেখাটা ছোট হলেও খুব ভালো লাগলো। আর খুশুদার জামাইটিও জমাট বেঁধে লিখেছে।
খুব ভালো লিখেছ ভাই।